Embracing the Shadows
What eclipses can teach us about embracing the unbearable + upcoming online workshop deets
Upcoming workshop:
Join me for a cozy Sunday morning where we’ll discuss all things nervous system. This workshop will be 1-hour and it will be educational and experiential, with lots of room for connection and questions. We’ll cover:
An introduction to Polyvagal Theory, neuroception, and Somatic experiencing as it relates to you
A deep-dive guided meditation and exercise that will help you to somatically understand your own unique nervous system and how it works. This is an exercise that I will often do in a 1:1 session with clients.
Prompts that will support further self-exploration and awareness
Time at the end for questions and more personalized support from me
Access to the recording of the workshop
You can learn more and register here for $19.99, or become a paid subscriber. *note: if you are a paid subscriber, mark your calendar! You are already signed up and I can’t wait to see you there.*
Embracing the Shadows
People often seek therapy or support because there is an underlying emotion, behavioral pattern, and/or belief that feels unbearable.
Oftentimes this unbearable feeling is an aspect of our Selves that we’d rather not admit existed. The parts of our Selves that we try to push down with guilt, shame, and anxiety. The parts of our Selves that make us feel, time and time again, that we are broken, wrong, unfixable.
These parts are often referred to as our shadow Self.
Jungian psychologist Marion Woodman explains, “the shadow is anything we are sure we are not; it is part of us we do not know, sometimes do not want to know, most times do not want to know. We can hardly bare to look.”
These parts are often lurking in the nooks and crannies of our unconscious, living in the tissues of our bodies, laying dormant (or not so dormant) in the pit of our stomach or in the center of our chest as that sensation in the body that feels too uncomfortable to feel fully. So of course we ignore it at every opportunity.
In archetypal philosophies, the shadow also represents the darker side of human nature. It contains the primitive animal instincts that live within all of us (yes, all of us).
The themes of light and dark come up in almost all ancient and modern mythologies, religions, and philosophies. In the ancient Vedic text the Bhagavad Gita, for example, two opposing sides of the same family- the Pandavas and the Kauravas- further represent our shadow and light sides. The Pandavas represent our virtuous Selves; the parts of our being that we love to show others; the bright and shiny versions of who we are. The Kauravas, on the other hand, represent the more primal instincts to defend our Selves; the parts that keep us separate from others; the more shadowy aspects of us that directly oppose who we think we ought to be all the time.
As long as we are all humans living a human experience, the shadow/darker sides of our own humanity will exist within us. One of the most famous Carl Jung quotes explains that until we are able to fully embrace and accept this fact, our shadows will continue to control our lives until it is, in fact, unbearable. He says:
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
Just as the winter season is nature’s way of telling us to go inward, to reflect, to conserve our energy and rest, eclipse season tells us that whether we’re ready for it or not, our shadow aspects will be obscuring our light and we must take heed. Eclipses, according to Oxford language dictionary (i.e. Google), are an “obscuring of the light from one celestial body by the passage of another between it and the observer or between it and its source of illumination.”
This is a time that our darker aspects of our Selves will obscure the lighter parts of our Selves, if only for a moment. This is a time where we’re asked to stay open to the parts of our Selves that often make us close. This is a time that teaches us that when we’re able to stay open to darkness, new light and insights are able to emerge.
This is a time where we’re getting a little extra boost to support the unconscious becoming conscious.
Are you feeling this energy, too?
The total solar eclipse is passing through Austin tomorrow. The hype has been real in this neck of the woods. There are huge festivals happening. Apparently over a million tourists have flooded in and around the city for the occasion. Millions of eclipse glasses are ready to be used so that we can look directly at this natural wonder.
In a way that I have a hard time articulating, this gives me hope for our collective humanity and healing. That so many people are willing to stand in the obscuration of the light, if only for a few minutes, makes me believe that people intuitively feel the pull towards the shadows. That we want to stare directly at the eclipse further confirms that our human nature is not to shy away from the darkness but to actually meet it with curiosity and reverence.
What if we met our own shadows with the same kind of admiration?
What if what is unbearable isn’t the shadows themselves, but the resistance to meeting them with the awe and respect they deserve?
Xo,
The Shadow Part
I’m feeling the pull lately to embrace this shadow side. I’ve spent the last few years in particular trying to change my reservedness, my highly logic side that isn’t as feeling, the aspects of myself that have hurt other people. But I’m realizing I need to learn to be ok with this part of me and try to bring more kindness and understanding to it. I’m actually going to do autism testing as that might explain it more. But also I need to stop viewing it as a defect and accept. So thank you for sharing this.
I’m excited about this eclipse and thinking for now of just holing up in my backyard for it with two of my kids. We have pretty great views up on our hill.
Beautiful…I needed to hear this today. The densities are heavy right now! Thank you. 🙏