16 Comments

YES! I could not agree more Eliza. Beautifully said 😊 My therapy game changed dramatically when I shifted from simply talking work to guiding people (and myself) into their bodies.

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Yes! It’s so powerful! I often say it’s like learning a new language, or at the least a different dialect from what we’re used to in talk therapy. But over time it becomes more intuitive. Have you found that to be the case in your practice, too?

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Yes, absolutely. And it really changes things for people!

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I feel so much of this. That line your supervisor shared is so accurate. I have felt that throughout the years of practice. I’m so grateful the way in which I connect and support with my clients (and myself) has evolved to this. It’s life-changing.

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1000%. I wish they would teach more of this to newer counselors 😏

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This is all so well articulated Eliza, not surprised! I can still get caught in this although I’ve grown into more embodiment over the years. I for sure see this in my work with men every day. The want to fix it and move on, or merely gain more knowledge/understanding seem to be where a lot of my clients stop. I was just thinking about the top and bottom brain earlier and their functions as it relates to this kind of work. You might have inspired my next letter 😏

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You're doing such amazing work with men to support them back into their bodies, Blake! It's such a nuanced topic with our culture discouraging this type of work in everyone, but men more specifically. Can't wait to read your next letter!

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I am curious but not sure what you mean by embodiment? Is that like…mindfulness?

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It’s a bit of an elusive term, isn’t it? I think because our body speaks to us in it’s own language, which is often hard to translate into words.

I explain and define it briefly in the piece, but I find any definition of embodiment falls short of all it entails. Certainly mindfulness is part of it!

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I’ve been thinking about this concept a lot when it comes to my son and my desire to put my over-intellectualizing onto him. I am sure if I took him to get diagnosed, they would find something. But I wonder if it misses the point for him, if instead of worrying about the label which stems from my desire to fix, I can focus more on embodiment for him (and myself).

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This is such a tricky one Emma, of course we want to support our kids however way possible. Sometimes, that is by pursuing a diagnosis so they can get the support they need. Sounds like you’re being mindful and doing a beautiful job navigating these tricky waters 🙏🏼

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So true! Especially when we are taught we are not allowed to be messy, or wounded, we can cope by turning to a "fix", like a diagnosis, and analyze that instead of feeling our feelings. And sitting with their feelings in their bodies is what I see my clients struggle with the most.

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Yes totally! You speak to some of the questions I posed in my respond to Jen. Somewhere along the way we learned that being in our bodies or having a sense of agency wasn’t safe.

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This is a thoughtful & important question. For me I feel like it has a lot to do with inner dialogue-something I've been thinking about a lot lately. I agree with you about labels & intellectualizing traumas without having the skills to listen to what our body is trying to tell us.

What I've been thinking about is how my inner dialogue - that conversation in my head is where I'll often give up my agency without even realizing it. It's a slippery slope.

Thanks for such a thoughtful Sunday morning read. ❤️

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Jen thank you for answering so thoughtfully on this. I’m sure so many (including myself!) can relate to what you’re saying. The inner dialogue can effect so much.

My therapist brain goes to questions like: where and how did you learn to give up your agency? Why and how was that an important thing to do at that time? Yes these thoughts and inner dialogues live in our mind, but they were born from real life experiences, which first and foremost impacted our nervous systems and our bodily feelings of safety.

Such juicy learning for all of us there💛

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Good questions! I'm going to ponder those 🤔

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